Depressed

I've been kind of sad the past few days. First it was Sarah leaving, and obviously she had to go with her parents, but I liked having someone follow me around who wanted my attention. Then the thing with Naomi.

I'm not angry, but Naomi, if you're reading this, I really do believe you've made a mistake. Don't you know, deep down, where you belong? Father is always busy, busy, but he would have killed you by now if you weren't one of us. If we ever met, I would try my best to show you the truth, and I would do everything I could to make sure you weren't punished too severely for betraying us. It was just a mistake on your part. That's all. Considering how much of what we were is kept from us by what the Igigi did, it's not surprising so many Chosen rail against father and try to fight or run.

Come visit me anyway if you can Naomi. I won't be here much longer, but we could talk if you came. Secret-like. No one will know but you and me, and if you don't like what I have to say, you can go away again. I won't try to keep you, even if I want to. There's such comfort in knowing where you belong. I just want to make you understand. You would be happy. We could be sisters.

I know what really scares people, what turns them away from their instincts... the deaths, the murders. There's a reason for it, but I can't talk about it yet. :( Besides, Liger thinks I don't know what kind of work he does for father, but I've read the blogs. I'm grateful for how he takes care of me and protects me, but sometimes I think he tries to shelter me too much. Maybe that's why Inquisitor hates me. He's the only one who doesn't baby me even a little bit. Maybe he resents how sheltered I am. Maybe he's a better friend than I give him credit for and just wants me to live up to my potential.... not that I'm looking forward to working with him again. I hate watching people suffer and not being allowed to stop their pain until he says so.

We leave in less than a week. This time I won't say where we're going aside from further west and south.