I cut all my hair off. Half of it was burned away, and I can't make hair grow any faster than normal. So I cut it off. It's just hair, and this is just flesh, and both are just part of a mask that my soul wears.
I don't know what I'm posting about really. I feel... blah. Liger has been nurse-maiding me like crazy, and I haven't been allowed to leave the apartment or go anywhere without him. And I love him, but not that way. It so weird to know he does love me that way. I don't want it. I feel awkward and weird. I'm glad I have this outlet, else we'd have to talk about it or something. Father doesn't bar his children from having relationships, but there's no guarantee that their children would be born Anunnaki. There's all kinds of conditions that control how a soul is reborn and with what souls it grows and I really don't know how it works. And this is a tangent. I just don't want to deal with knowing Liger likes me. Who does he think I was in whatever life we shared? Because I don't feel that way about him. I'll never feel that way about him. I don't want a boyfriend dammit. I want a big brother.
Especially now that... now that Whistler is dead, and I'll never see her again, except in my head if that darkling messes with me again. And I am so angry because I think Inquisitor got her killed catching his brother, the darkling host, and he didn't have any right! Even if he could get the darkling out of his brother's body, his brother is GONE. It's just a body! It's -it's a waste of time and resources. Father would NOT approve. The darkling's killed two chosen while we've kept him here.
I should be sleeping, but this is about the only time I can post without Liger looming in the background. He doesn't show any interest in computers, but that doesn't mean he might not read over my shoulder.
I'm just gah!!!!!!! Arrrrrrrrrg! I hate being cooped up. Now I don't even have any work to do because Liger doesn't trust Inquisitor not to hurt me. Heck I don't even trust him. But I feel like I'm being smothered. I need to do stuff.