The problem with hollowing, or hallowing as some call it, is that it's like putting up plaster over an ants' nest and hoping they won't tunnel through. It works along the same principles of reincarnation, but you don't get a brand spanking new body.
You also are at the mercy of whoever's hollowed you. I can hollow, but I'm not so good at making a new person. The seeds of a new personality must be planted and helped to grow. Hmmm, maybe a better analogy would be a garden plot that's had the black spot and you tote in new soil to plant your tomatoes, but the fungus is still down there, waiting for the roots to find it.
Anyway, I've come to the conclusion that someone hollowed Dodgy a long, long time ago. So he's had a long time to reinforce his current personality with memories. But whoever did it, and I'm thinking it was the Assassin since there's no reason to think anyone else would do something like this, he did something I've never seen before.
Hollowing is kind of a misnomer. The memories never go away, they're just covered up and replaced. A real master of this kind of thing can actually use real memories to reinforce the new personality. It's like breaking a plate and using the pieces to make a mosaic... it's not a plate any more; it's something new. But pieces of the plate are still there and the mosaic wouldn't be the same without them.
So Dodgy got hollowed and slapped with a new (obnoxious) personality. Then the Assassin took an extra step and put this thought eating thing in his head so that if Dodgy thinks too hard about the missing pieces in his mosaic, this "jellyfish fog monster" will eat his concerns. And the more he presses, the more riled it gets until it's not just removing his confusion; it starts taking out thoughts and then the memories that inspired those thoughts. It's got "stingers" all through his mind that I hadn't noticed before. If he thinks too hard in a direction it doesn't like, it adjusts him. No wonder I wasn't getting anywhere with my tortures.
I don't know what do about this thing. It's like his mind is booby trapped. I press too hard, it'll turn his brain to mush. I wonder if the Assassin did this just in case he was ever captured, Maybe Dodgy has secrets we could use against his master.
I'm going to have to talk to Mercury about this. He might have some ideas.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Done and Done and still more work to do
I finished with Liger's hands this morning, which meant he no longer had any reason to be in the basement with us. I wasn't told to make him suffer past the skinning; so I healed him... and gave him the skin. I'm not sure what he's meant to do with it, but that at least I was told to do. He stalked past Dodgy's cage, giving him a warning glare, and of course Dodgy couldn't stay quiet, even with no tongue. He chortled, maybe trying to provoke Liger. It worked.
Liger stopped and turned back, moving so quickly I only had time to shout, "No!"
But he didn't do anything. He went up to Dodgy without touching him at all and said something his ear. Then he left without sparing a glance for any of us.
And Dodgy looked kind of confused and looked at me funny. He's been staring at me ever since, and it's getting annoying.
I have no idea what Liger would have said to confound Dodgy so much, but he's been very docile all morning. Of course, I cut all the tendons in his arms and legs the other day so he hasn't got much fight left in him at all. I thought about it and whittling him away like I did with Lisa might not please Father. I can fix his tendons later. Father would probably want him with a bit of fight left in him. It's a lot of work, but doable. Taking his arms and legs off completely wouldn't have left much to work with.
His mind is a muddle of confused memories, and I get a headache every time I go in and try to make sense of any of it. How can he have a thousand year's worth of memories in his head and then just this big blank wall of nothing. I don't think he's even aware that parts of his mind have been... removed. I think whatever Liger said, he jarred something loose though. Dodgy's thoughts are all itchy now, like he's trying to remember something and that wall of nothing is trying to eat his turmoil. Like it's alive and aware, and its purpose is keeping Dodgy complacent. I've never seen anything like it. It makes me sick anytime I brush up against it.
Bleh... I'll be glad when he's gone. I heard Father beat the shit out of Dodgy's master. So maybe that's why he hasn't come to collect the small fry yet.
In other news, Seraphina's becoming more and more withdrawn, but Heri's out of his cage. :) Heri's keeping the name, and it suits him. His life in Egypt is easily his strongest, though he's remembered bits and pieces of other lives now, mashed them together to see the common threads, people he's known... He claims he had a portion of the Mother's soul in his care until she was murdered... a student of his when he was quite old and teaching young scribes their trade. There have always been rumors about bits of her soul surviving, even after what Merodach did, but usually by the time we get to investigate, she or he's been murdered by the Assassin.
Father will want to hear about Heri's memories.
Liger stopped and turned back, moving so quickly I only had time to shout, "No!"
But he didn't do anything. He went up to Dodgy without touching him at all and said something his ear. Then he left without sparing a glance for any of us.
And Dodgy looked kind of confused and looked at me funny. He's been staring at me ever since, and it's getting annoying.
I have no idea what Liger would have said to confound Dodgy so much, but he's been very docile all morning. Of course, I cut all the tendons in his arms and legs the other day so he hasn't got much fight left in him at all. I thought about it and whittling him away like I did with Lisa might not please Father. I can fix his tendons later. Father would probably want him with a bit of fight left in him. It's a lot of work, but doable. Taking his arms and legs off completely wouldn't have left much to work with.
His mind is a muddle of confused memories, and I get a headache every time I go in and try to make sense of any of it. How can he have a thousand year's worth of memories in his head and then just this big blank wall of nothing. I don't think he's even aware that parts of his mind have been... removed. I think whatever Liger said, he jarred something loose though. Dodgy's thoughts are all itchy now, like he's trying to remember something and that wall of nothing is trying to eat his turmoil. Like it's alive and aware, and its purpose is keeping Dodgy complacent. I've never seen anything like it. It makes me sick anytime I brush up against it.
Bleh... I'll be glad when he's gone. I heard Father beat the shit out of Dodgy's master. So maybe that's why he hasn't come to collect the small fry yet.
In other news, Seraphina's becoming more and more withdrawn, but Heri's out of his cage. :) Heri's keeping the name, and it suits him. His life in Egypt is easily his strongest, though he's remembered bits and pieces of other lives now, mashed them together to see the common threads, people he's known... He claims he had a portion of the Mother's soul in his care until she was murdered... a student of his when he was quite old and teaching young scribes their trade. There have always been rumors about bits of her soul surviving, even after what Merodach did, but usually by the time we get to investigate, she or he's been murdered by the Assassin.
Father will want to hear about Heri's memories.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Flensing
Liger is in a cage, and he sits there and waits patiently for his punishment to continue, staring death at Dodgy whenever he would open his mouth. Up until a few minutes ago, Dodgy took great delight in calling me Ty, and I could see Liger clenching his fists, hear his knuckles popping despite the cuts whenever he did. I think Dodgy did it just because he KNEW it bothered Liger (and me).
If Dodgy dies, he's free to find another body. He knows it, Liger knows it, but Liger doesn't care. Whatever harm Dodgy did him whenever and a day ago, Liger hasn't forgotten.
This is horrible.
I'm... half tempted to have Delphi and Jet work on Liger, but I know they wouldn't do it right. They'd cut too deep, and I'm not trying to filet him.
I'm to take the skin off his hands, all in one piece if I can. Flensing hands is delicate work. That's the punishment Mercury was sent from whoever decides these things when Father is busy.
At least he's not going to be hollowed or killed... Apparently Father's too busy to come even for Dodgy, let alone Liger. And Liger is... has always been so very loyal.
I started and had to stop. I told Jet to gag Dodgy. He was mocking Liger and egging me on. I stopped again; there was "something" in my eye. Liger just sat there, silent and motionless, waiting for me to continue. He didn't even flinch under my blade or have to be restrained, just watched me calmly like... he expected I wouldn't hurt him or what I was doing didn't hurt at all. And I know damn well it does. Inquisitor was fond of hands.
When I stopped again, Liger said, "Shhhhhh" very softly under his breath, and "Go on..."
Dodgy was giggling. I told Delphi and Jet to cut out his tongue... and cauterize it so he couldn't try to drown on the blood. Of course they didn't strap his head down properly, and he tried to impale his head on the hot iron when they brought it near his mouth. Stupid noob mistake... but it was my fault. They're not experienced. They couldn't have known to expect a move like that. I had to leave off my work. Jet and Delphi kept his head still while I strapped it down and forced the bit back in his mouth and then wedge it open even more to get the iron in. Thankfully he passed out when I finally managed to burn the stub of his tongue. He doesn't need to be able to speak for me to pick his brain.
We were all covered in blood. I sent Jet and Delphi up to shower and bring me some clean clothes. I can't go anywhere. I'm stuck down here with the prisoners. I can't even clean myself until they get back, and I'm leaving red smears on my keyboard. There's a sink in the workroom. I'll pop back as soon as Delphi and Jet come back... whenever that is.
I'm sleeping in Liger's cage tonight, even if he's been creeping on me for four years. He's the only one who's never let me down and maybe he had a good reason for trying to strangle Dodgy.
If Dodgy dies, he's free to find another body. He knows it, Liger knows it, but Liger doesn't care. Whatever harm Dodgy did him whenever and a day ago, Liger hasn't forgotten.
This is horrible.
I'm... half tempted to have Delphi and Jet work on Liger, but I know they wouldn't do it right. They'd cut too deep, and I'm not trying to filet him.
I'm to take the skin off his hands, all in one piece if I can. Flensing hands is delicate work. That's the punishment Mercury was sent from whoever decides these things when Father is busy.
At least he's not going to be hollowed or killed... Apparently Father's too busy to come even for Dodgy, let alone Liger. And Liger is... has always been so very loyal.
I started and had to stop. I told Jet to gag Dodgy. He was mocking Liger and egging me on. I stopped again; there was "something" in my eye. Liger just sat there, silent and motionless, waiting for me to continue. He didn't even flinch under my blade or have to be restrained, just watched me calmly like... he expected I wouldn't hurt him or what I was doing didn't hurt at all. And I know damn well it does. Inquisitor was fond of hands.
When I stopped again, Liger said, "Shhhhhh" very softly under his breath, and "Go on..."
Dodgy was giggling. I told Delphi and Jet to cut out his tongue... and cauterize it so he couldn't try to drown on the blood. Of course they didn't strap his head down properly, and he tried to impale his head on the hot iron when they brought it near his mouth. Stupid noob mistake... but it was my fault. They're not experienced. They couldn't have known to expect a move like that. I had to leave off my work. Jet and Delphi kept his head still while I strapped it down and forced the bit back in his mouth and then wedge it open even more to get the iron in. Thankfully he passed out when I finally managed to burn the stub of his tongue. He doesn't need to be able to speak for me to pick his brain.
We were all covered in blood. I sent Jet and Delphi up to shower and bring me some clean clothes. I can't go anywhere. I'm stuck down here with the prisoners. I can't even clean myself until they get back, and I'm leaving red smears on my keyboard. There's a sink in the workroom. I'll pop back as soon as Delphi and Jet come back... whenever that is.
I'm sleeping in Liger's cage tonight, even if he's been creeping on me for four years. He's the only one who's never let me down and maybe he had a good reason for trying to strangle Dodgy.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
making conversation
I wish Blogger had a private posting function. So far I haven't gotten into any trouble for having this blog, but... sometimes I'm not sure if I'm doing the right things, like if I'm making the right choices. I wish I could just make this post visible to my friends only and they could give me feedback without me worrying someone else might see. It's hard being in charge of breaking people and having no one to tell me if I'm doing it right or majorly screwing up.
Dodgy kept up a running dialogue all night... Even telling me at one point that he liked my humming. (I didn't know I *was* humming!) As I was finishing up with my... whittling? sketching? Whatever it might be called, Dodgy asked if he could see my work.
That stymied me, since there was no way to do it without untying him, but there were mirrors in the workroom (since letting people see the damage is sometimes worse than the actual torture). So I wheeled him in there and set up some mirrors to reflect the images until he could see them. He gushed over them and said it was too bad he'd be leaving the body, and my sketches, behind at some point.
I must have scowled because then he wanted to know what was wrong, and I blurted out about how only Igigi and darklings are sick cannibal parasites who steal other people's bodies and eat them up from the inside out. Then he asked uncomfortable questions about Father and people who are Hollowed, laughing when I said that Father only eats bad people. And Hollowed just have their memories wiped and a new personality implanted so they can start over and have a chance to do better.
He asked my name and kept asking till I said, "Ty." That amused him because apparently it wasn't as descriptive or in his words as "flowery" as he'd expected. He told me I deserved a prettier name. >:| Then he asked how old I was and pretended shock when I said 18. "Aren't you too old to believe these fairytales?" he asked.
I punched him in the kidneys and put away the mirrors, wheeling him back out to his cage where I ignored him until dawn and Jet and Delphi came down with some breakfast for me. Then we wheeled him back to the workroom to start the day's session. Jet noticed the pictures I'd drawn up to Dodgy's knees first. Both of them were pretty impressed and couldn't understand why I was so grumpy. So I'm sorry for that if you guys ever find my blog. Dodgy didn't say a word the entire session, which was unusual, but maybe he was tired from being up all night.
Dodgy kept up a running dialogue all night... Even telling me at one point that he liked my humming. (I didn't know I *was* humming!) As I was finishing up with my... whittling? sketching? Whatever it might be called, Dodgy asked if he could see my work.
That stymied me, since there was no way to do it without untying him, but there were mirrors in the workroom (since letting people see the damage is sometimes worse than the actual torture). So I wheeled him in there and set up some mirrors to reflect the images until he could see them. He gushed over them and said it was too bad he'd be leaving the body, and my sketches, behind at some point.
I must have scowled because then he wanted to know what was wrong, and I blurted out about how only Igigi and darklings are sick cannibal parasites who steal other people's bodies and eat them up from the inside out. Then he asked uncomfortable questions about Father and people who are Hollowed, laughing when I said that Father only eats bad people. And Hollowed just have their memories wiped and a new personality implanted so they can start over and have a chance to do better.
He asked my name and kept asking till I said, "Ty." That amused him because apparently it wasn't as descriptive or in his words as "flowery" as he'd expected. He told me I deserved a prettier name. >:| Then he asked how old I was and pretended shock when I said 18. "Aren't you too old to believe these fairytales?" he asked.
I punched him in the kidneys and put away the mirrors, wheeling him back out to his cage where I ignored him until dawn and Jet and Delphi came down with some breakfast for me. Then we wheeled him back to the workroom to start the day's session. Jet noticed the pictures I'd drawn up to Dodgy's knees first. Both of them were pretty impressed and couldn't understand why I was so grumpy. So I'm sorry for that if you guys ever find my blog. Dodgy didn't say a word the entire session, which was unusual, but maybe he was tired from being up all night.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
In the dungeon
He just stares at me. Dodgy, that is. I mean, when I'm torturing him or about to, he's all jokes and flirting, but when I'm sitting here on the cold cement floor, typing away... he just stares at me. It's annoying. Does he want to blog? Well, he can't because all his fingers are broken. Ha!
I feel bad for Heri and Seraphina. I can't spend as much time with them because I can't leave Dodgy. Someone might come and kill him while I'm working down the hall; so I have to work on each one where the others can see. That's not fair to them. Our sessions should be private... like doctor patient privileges.
At least most of what I'm doing with Heri now is in his head, so less potential embarrassment for him. Seraphina is confused by our stillness though. She begs me to stop when I torture her, telling me she'll be good. She's got the wrong idea, either from trying to escape and being punished or watching me and Heri. Dodgy watches too, and I resent him for it. He doesn't belong here. He's not one of us.
Except, I don't know... I really want to explain everything to him. I want to plead our case, make him understand that his "master" is a MONSTER. It's wrong but... Dodgy makes me feel shy and self-conscious. Maybe it's all that over the top flirting. If he was actually in a male body right now, I'd be tempted to geld him (thank-you Wolfie for putting the thought into my head heh). He told me he liked my mask earlier, and I just about dropped my scalpel. That's not professional.
Why can't he just scream and beg like a normal person?
I feel bad for Heri and Seraphina. I can't spend as much time with them because I can't leave Dodgy. Someone might come and kill him while I'm working down the hall; so I have to work on each one where the others can see. That's not fair to them. Our sessions should be private... like doctor patient privileges.
At least most of what I'm doing with Heri now is in his head, so less potential embarrassment for him. Seraphina is confused by our stillness though. She begs me to stop when I torture her, telling me she'll be good. She's got the wrong idea, either from trying to escape and being punished or watching me and Heri. Dodgy watches too, and I resent him for it. He doesn't belong here. He's not one of us.
Except, I don't know... I really want to explain everything to him. I want to plead our case, make him understand that his "master" is a MONSTER. It's wrong but... Dodgy makes me feel shy and self-conscious. Maybe it's all that over the top flirting. If he was actually in a male body right now, I'd be tempted to geld him (thank-you Wolfie for putting the thought into my head heh). He told me he liked my mask earlier, and I just about dropped my scalpel. That's not professional.
Why can't he just scream and beg like a normal person?
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