Father will hear...

I am so mad... soso furious.

Inquisitor needs to get rid of that darkling NOW. That thing needs to die. I- I'll tell father if he doesn't.

Melissa is hurt. She may never speak again. I'm keeping her in our apartment. She is NOT going back to her cage.

Mr Creepy doesn't seem to want to escape, since he had every opportunity to do so when he got Melissa to let him out. Instead, he made her get a piece of broken metal from somewhere and cut open her own throat, completely destroying her larynx. Her clothes were neatly folded and placed a few feet away, spotless.

When he was sure she couldn't scream, he made her mutilate herself. She was very nearly dead when I came down with her breakfast, and he.... He was standing over her, hands on his knees, grinning as he watched her gut herself.

When he heard the tray drop, he sauntered back to his cage and pulled it shut behind him. He cackled as I rushed to where Melissa lay and threw himself into his chair to watch as I tried to keep her alive. The damage was extensive, not like when we torture. His intent had been to cause as much damage as possible in addition to pain.

I felt him then, psychically leaning over us, feeding on her pain and terror, my frustration and fury. No wonder Inquisitor never had me bring any food for his "pet." The thing is an energy vampire. It feeds on emotion with a preference for the negative. Anytime we had a torture session, he was probably glutting himself. Lisa had probably been an all you can eat buffet for him. Even my rage as I dragged Melissa to the door and pulled her into the stairwell was a treat for him.

I called for help, and Jet helped me carry her up after I swore I'd take any punishment Inquisitor decided to dish out. Well, I don't care. I'm right, and he's wrong, and Father will not be happy about him keeping a darkling and letting it feed on his children.

I've only just managed to stabilize Melissa, but there's not much left of her larynx. And the edges of the wound are seared. He burned her, like he did the others, but kept her alive to dine at his leisure. Maybe he developed a taste for her over the last few weeks. I don't think I'll be able to reconstruct her voice box. Her other injuries require more attention and by the time I get to it... It may already have begun to heal.

I'm just resting and... and purging some of this rage by writing this. I don't want to feed that Thing anything else. I have no idea how far it can reach, but if some of the more recent petty quarrels are any indication, it's been feeding on all of...

Pounding on the door. I think Inquisitor is back. I'll be back later.

Business as Usual

Liger's gone away again on some mission or another. I'll miss him as I always do, but I'm kind of relieved too. He hasn't said anything about his *feelings* since he carried me out of the basement, but it's not a conversation I'm looking forward to, you know? I don't want to hurt him, but I just don't feel that way.

Without Liger here, I'm back to working with Inquisitor. Because Liger is kind of my keeper, and someone needs to watch me when he's not here. That sounds so stupid, like I'm five. Can't they tell I'm loyal by now? :( I wouldn't ever betray the Family or Father. I want to make my contribution just like everyone else!

We have new Chosen downstairs, which is good. I've been hearing people talking about Inquisitor and his "guest." Apparently I'm not the only one the darkling's been messing with. Lots of people complaining of dreams, though not like the "hallucination" I had of Whistler. I miss her more than ever now. Did he eat her? I'll never see her again if he did. She's gone forever. I could hate Inquisitor for that. At least if there are more Chosen downstairs, it will keep everyone occupied as they speculate on who they were or who they'll end up being.

It's hard to describe Inquisitor since Liger whispered in his ear. I don't know what he said, but Inquisitor has been very business-like since I went back to working with him. He doesn't say anything more than he has to... like "pliers" or  "tweezers" or "Drano" or "ants." He hasn't had any reason to punish me since Liger went off to do whatever it is he does when he's not with me, but it's really only a matter of time. I'm clumsy and sometimes slow to find what Inquisitor demands. Eventually that gets on his last nerve, and I have to be punished. I don't hold it against him. I just have to be better.

We have a pair of twins in the cages now, as far away from the darkling as possible. Twins are tricky business. Sometimes they're both Anunnaki or one is and the other is human, but sometimes one is Igigi because they fell in battle together or something. Then we have to torture both of them until the truth comes out. It's weird to have twins with us right now considering Inquisitor and the darkling are twins, unless the darkling was just throwing up a glamour to mess with my head more.

In my head

So, um... Inquisitor came back. I woke up with him standing over me, and he definitely wasn't happy. He dragged me out of bed by my hair and wanted to know what I was doing in the basement. I guess the Creeper was telling tales just like I figured he would. Bastard.

"No one knew where you were. I was worried!" I shouted, curling up into a ball as he kicked me. First rule of enduring a beating, preserve your squishy bits.

"You were worried about me?" He sneered at me, like it was the stupidest thing he ever heard. Yeah... I'd have to agree with him there. Won't catch me looking for trouble twice. "Up."

Inquisitor grabbed me by my hair again (I should really keep it short), and I had no choice but to get up or have it ripped out. He didn't let go and proceeded to drag me down to the basement. A few people came out of their apartments to stare, and that only made him angrier. "Find something to do, or I will be back for you when I am done with her."

They didn't need to be told twice.

Creeper was back in his chair when we passed, and it looked like Inquisitor had been busy replacing the lights. If anything, it was brighter down there, each bulb giving off tons of light and heat. They looked like outdoor spotlights rather than regular bulbs. I guess that's where he's been, collecting the bulbs and new sockets and maybe even borrowing the technical knowledge of how to replace the old lights. Inquisitor may not be able to keep a person alive if his tortures go too far, but he's hella-good at getting into people's heads. That's why he has the job he does.

The basement was hot and humid like a swamp. Only the light directly over Creeper was out. He looked absolutely pissed about it. Not even my predicament lightened the scowl on his face. Though I guess after the things Inquisitor said, Creeper was probably more upset about my predicament than I was.

Inquisitor threw me into the chair and tied down my hands and feet so I couldn't struggle, not that I would. I'm not that stupid.

"You went out last night without permission," he said, his back to me as he examined his tools.

"I was with Whistler..."

"Liar! Whistler is dead. A darkling ate her a year ago."

I don't remember exactly what I babbled at that point, but Inquisitor slapped me hard enough to make my ears ring. "But I did see her..."

"You little idiot. You let him get into your head. He could have made you do anything. A few more days, and he would have had you unlocking his cage and helping him slaughter us all." I started to cry, and he slapped me again. "You're weak. Everything about you is weak. You should never have been allowed out of your cage."

And then he started to torture me... really torture me, like he was trying to break me like when I was first brought into the Family. I really tried not to scream. I hate when they scream. I didn't want to be weak like he said. I tried to be strong and not scream. It was Whistler who got to me. I could see her standing in the corner, watching Inquisitor hurt me and I started to cry again, and then Inquisitor got angry and put away the knives. And brought out the acid.

My screaming brought Liger down... sometime later. I don't remember. I don't remember anything after Inquisitor dripped acid on my face. I'm sure I must have kept healing myself; otherwise I'd probably be dead. At least Whistler was gone when I looked around. A darkling ate her. A darkling... probably Creeper. Why else pick her to mimic? But then I could just as easily have filled in the blanks myself, recreating my friend who I missed. Inquisitor is right. I am very stupid and useless.

Liger... hit Inquisitor... just once. He knocked him into the table and knocked a lot of his tools on the floor. He leaned down as Inquisitor scrambled to pick them up, and Inquisitor froze where he crouched. Then Liger unstrapped me and carried me upstairs, past Creeper in his cage. He muttered the whole way up to our apartment, about Inquisitor being jealous and overstepping himself, about him being careless and putting us all in danger out of selfishness and that keeping the darkling prisoner was asking for trouble. And he said other things that I won't repeat because they were kind of embarrassing and... now I feel awkward.

I don't think he would have said any of it if he'd known I was awake.

Knowing My Place

Liger has been gone for days and days, and I miss him terribly. Maybe that is selfish of me, as I know we all have our work to do and also because I miss him because I am more afraid when he is away. Inquisitor hates me because he was forced to give up breaking me by others who were concerned my gifts might be ruined if I was driven mad rather than remembering. Some things I can do, only Father can do, so I am very valuable to the cause of the Anunnaki. While I serve our people Father may spend his important time on other matters.

I would hide and wait for Liger to come back, but if Inquisitor needed me for his work, and I was nowhere to be found, I would be punished even worse than I already have been. With me there, Inquisitor is able to go further in his tortures than he ever would be able to on his own. He is horrible, and I hate him, though I know I shouldn't. But he is a monster, even if he is Family. He enjoys his work too much.

I am nearly healed from my punishments. The day after Liger left, I was punished with lashings for not being quick enough when Inquisitor summoned me, and again when I tripped and made him accidentally cut himself instead of the Chosen he was trying to break. It wasn't my fault as the cables from the car battery were lying underfoot. He alternated holding my hands over a boiling pot and plunging them into ice water until they were red and blistered as bubble wrap. This I was finally allowed to heal later that night so that I could feed myself and so that whenever Liger returned, he wouldn't see.

Liger is Very old, centuries, and Inquisitor is not even one hundred. Liger could be a leader if he wanted, just based on his age and experience, but he doesn't want it. Still, there are very few as old as him and if he decided the Inquisitor had overstepped himself, things could go very bad for him. Which is why I was allowed to heal myself and why I've been forbidden to tell Liger what he did. I wish Liger liked computers but he calls my laptop a toy. He wouldn't understand the internet or blogs at all. I wish someone would tell him about Inquisitor, but I know none of you will because I have been barred from speaking about it and so therefore have you. Still... I wish...

There are good things about being Anunnaki though. Don't think I am complaining. Everyone complains once in a while, so that's normal, right? I do love the Family so very much.  My former parents never loved me or noticed me much... They weren't Anunnaki or Igigi, just human. They barely noticed when I disappeared. There were no pleas for my safe return, no newspaper articles about what they found of the bastard who tried to rape me behind the school when Father came and saved me. Father does not like people who do such things, not after what was done to HIS parents. What he did to that boy was horrible and I had nightmares for months, but he deserved it. I really thought Jeff was my friend but he was a liar. The only good he did was making me so scared my powers kind of kick-started and Father and many Anunnaki heard me screaming in their heads (as far away as Texas I was told). It's weird being grateful to someone for almost raping you, but I wouldn't be here with Liger and the rest of our Family otherwise. Even the things Inquisitor does when Liger is away are bearable if it means I am where I belong.

New Recruit

They brought a new recruit in today and I have to help break them. I hate it, even it's necessary. Liger says it's my duty. He'll stand up to just about anyone who tries to bully me, but when it comes to doing my duty I just gotta suck it up and deal. o.O

Not happy about it, but at least it's something I can do that's useful.

It's like this... once upon a time there was a horrible war and everybody on our side, and more than a few on their side, died. All except our Father who *ALMOST* died. He's been working very, VERY hard ever since to restore our memories because when the Igigi defeated us, they stuck us in bodies of their own making and then erased our memories!

And unfortunately the only way to come close to those memories that's been even halfway successful involves mindgames and torture. I'm really very good at the first. It's the second one I really, really hate. I still remember when I first joined the family and the months and months and months of horror and I STILL can't remember who I was. I mean, at least I didn't go crazy like some, but it totally sucks because I want to remember so bad. I know me and Liger must have known each other because Anunnaki and Igigi will kind of know each other on sight, especially if they were close. And I Liger and I must have been very, very close for him to ONLY talk to me.

......................

Liger's giving me a look to stop playing with my blog and go do my job. :( I gotta go.

Bye for now. <3