making conversation

I wish Blogger had a private posting function. So far I haven't gotten into any trouble for having this blog, but... sometimes I'm not sure if I'm doing the right things, like if I'm making the right choices. I wish I could just make this post visible to my friends only and they could give me feedback without me worrying someone else might see. It's hard being in charge of breaking people and having no one to tell me if I'm doing it right or majorly screwing up.

Dodgy kept up a running dialogue all night... Even telling me at one point that he liked my humming. (I didn't know I *was* humming!) As I was finishing up with my... whittling? sketching? Whatever it might be called, Dodgy asked if he could see my work.

That stymied me, since there was no way to do it without untying him, but there were mirrors in the workroom (since letting people see the damage is sometimes worse than the actual torture). So I wheeled him in there and set up some mirrors to reflect the images until he could see them. He gushed over them and said it was too bad he'd be leaving the body, and my sketches, behind at some point.

I must have scowled because then he wanted to know what was wrong, and I blurted out about how only Igigi and darklings are sick cannibal parasites who steal other people's bodies and eat them up from the inside out. Then he asked uncomfortable questions about Father and people who are Hollowed, laughing when I said that Father only eats bad people. And Hollowed just have their memories wiped and a new personality implanted so they can start over and have a chance to do better.

He asked my name and kept asking till I said, "Ty." That amused him because apparently it wasn't as descriptive or in his words as "flowery" as he'd expected. He told me I deserved a prettier name. >:| Then he asked how old I was and pretended shock when I said 18. "Aren't you too old to believe these fairytales?" he asked.

I punched him in the kidneys and put away the mirrors, wheeling him back out to his cage where I ignored him until dawn and Jet and Delphi came down with some breakfast for me. Then we wheeled him back to the workroom to start the day's session. Jet noticed the pictures I'd drawn up to Dodgy's knees first. Both of them were pretty impressed and couldn't understand why I was so grumpy. So I'm sorry for that if you guys ever find my blog. Dodgy didn't say a word the entire session, which was unusual, but maybe he was tired from being up all night.

Do unto others

It wasn't easy. There was a whole list of questions we had to ask the twins, about themselves and each other. We had to play them off one another, ferret out secret jealousies and resentments, offer to harm one or reward the other. Even then, we had to find out which twin had that certain sense of entitlement... that arrogance that is particular to the Igigi.

Turns out our twins were born conjoined. That means the Igigi twin tried to EAT the Anunnaki twin in the womb. That's what they do, you know? They hate us that much. They're worse than the darklings. They want to eat us and spit us back out and turn us into slaves.

We put the girls in separate cages facing each other across the hall. We could have just killed the Igigi twin or hollowed her and given her to our new sister as a servant, but Inquisitor had a better idea since they'd been conjoined. He said we could use that to break our Anunnaki sister of her sham-life and wake her up.

We put a blanket over Lisa's cage, hiding her from Melissa's view. We took Melissa out of her cage for her "sessions," but never let her see Lisa. And Lisa never spoke to her after we put her away behind the curtain; we made sure of that first thing. So far as Melissa knew, her sister was not being tortured and might not even have been in the cage any more.

We took very good care of Melissa though. She ate better than any other Chosen, ever. I made her homemade soup and steak and roast... In two weeks, she actually gained weight, despite being tortured every day. I healed her of the worst of it, but people usually lose weight in the cages, not gain it. It's psychological. By the time we were ready to reunited the sisters, Melissa was well on her way to having this life stripped away. It helped that she was convinced that Lisa was dead and that we were only trying to fool her by keeping the blanket up.

Melissa was violently sick when we finally took down the blanket. I can't blame her. Cannibalism is darn gross. You can get all kinds of diseases from it too. There wasn't much left of Lisa, but she was still alive. Inquisitor took Melissa out of her cage, put a gun in her hand, and told her to kill Lisa.

Oh, you could see the hate in Lisa's eyes, and she only looked at Melissa, not myself or Inquisitor. Melissa might have been dragging her feet in the memory department, but it looked like Lisa knew who her enemy was. There wasn't much left of her face. We'd had to cut her larynx so she wouldn't call to Melissa and remove her teeth and lips so she couldn't make any other sounds. Most people would have died a long time ago from all the flesh she'd lost, but Inquisitor had me healing her with every cut we made so she lived even when she was little more than a torso. Inquisitor put the barrel against Lisa's head, and helped Melissa pull the trigger.

I'm glad Lisa's gone. Feeding her and healing her were too big chores I'm glad I don't have to do any more. She was so light, I carried her body upstairs all by myself. There's enough of her left to make soup for Melissa, not that she's really aware of what's going on any more. I think she was pretty much gone as soon as the gun fired. No it's time to rebuild her from the ground up... see if we can drag any memories out of her of who she used to be.

Fun

Whistler is so much fun. Don't get me wrong. I love Liger, but he's not someone who has "fun." He doesn't play. He teaches me things like how to throw a knife correctly, and where to hit someone if I can't get free of them, and how to make a shiv or take care of my weapons. Maybe he thinks that's fun. I guess it can be. I like learning new things, so yeah, it's... I don't know? Satisfying when I get it right, and he's happy with me?

That's not really "fun" though.

Whistler knows how to have fun. She took me out last night, and we stole fruit from an orchard. We snuck into a movie theater and saw Rise of the Planet of the Apes. She showed me how to mess with streetlights, which is actually a useful skill even if Liger calls everything Whistler shows me a "cheap parlor trick." We sparred a little, and she knocked me on my butt as usual, but she said I'm getting faster even if I don't get enough practice "dancing around a big lumbering ass like Liger." LOL Oh I wish they didn't hate each other so, but at least Whistler's insults are funny.

She got me ice cream, mind-whammying the guy behind the counter into thinking we'd paid when we hadn't.

I did ask Whistler about Darklings. Apparently there's more than one kind, but she didn't go into detail more than to say some of our allies are Darklings. I'm guessing the guy in the cage is NOT a friendly Darkling.

Liger, Whistler, and Me

I'm so glad Whistler is back with us! I missed her a lot. She's like... a hard as nails granny who dresses like a desperado complete with two antique mother-of-pearl-handled six shooters, and her mask is like a mashup of tragedy and comedy, split down the middle. People who see her must think she's on her way to star in a play. She can shoot a hole in a quarter tossed in the air; I have one that I keep in my pocket. She makes her own bullets, rolls her own cigarettes, and plays a mean harmonica. She's the coolest person I know. She used to sing and dance in an old West traveling show and met Annie Oakley once. :3

Whistler doesn't whistle though. She takes her name from her bullets slicing through the air (she says). Someone else told me she used to whistle though. The one she used to whistled tunes for died, and she hasn't found him again. :(

I get the feeling that Liger and Whistler don't really like each other sometimes, and I know she and Inquisitor don't like each other, though I don't think Inquisitor really likes anyone. Whistler was the one who first took care of me when I was newly Chosen. I had to go through the trials same as everyone else. She was the one who recognized my talents were full blown, even if I couldn't remember whoever I'd been. She taught me how to heal myself while I was still caged, among other things, and argued for my release so "my talents wouldn't be ruined." Then Liger happened to see me too and went right to Inquisitor to demand I be released into his custody.

To be honest, I was terrified of Liger at first. You know... after what happened when Father saved me. And having Whistler and Liger fight over me didn't help, but Liger's never ever done anything to make me think he might take advantage of me, and really he's like the big brother I never had. No one messes with Liger. So aside from keeping an eye on me to make sure I don't wander off, everyone mostly ignores me just to stay on his good side. Except for Inquisitor who says everyone must have a job, no exceptions.

Sometimes I wish Whistler and Liger hadn't gotten me out of the cage. I never get to do anything or go anywhere. Some Anunnaki don't trust me because Inquisitor didn't "finish" his work with me... as if I'd ever want to leave the Family. At least people here appreciate what I can do, and with everything I've learned about our history, I really don't think there's any other place I'd rather be. I like to think my tiny contribution will make our victory possible. There would be no ocean without all the drops of water that come together form it, right?

I'm glad Whistler's here. She's the one who usually teaches me new things and tells me about our past. If anyone knows about Darklings, it's her.

Dead

That kid is dead... I came down to feed him, and he was dead. He was sprawled on his side near the chainlink that separated him from creepy-guy, his eyes bulging and his tongue sticking out from his black lips. Suffocation, I'd guess, but how? Creepy-guy hadn't moved so far as I could see, but then I can't see much. The light nearest him is out, and I'm certainly not going to go into his cell to change it. And even if he had moved, how could he strangle the kid? The wire mesh is just tight enough that even if he could squeeze his hands through the holes, the kid would have had to sit there a let the guy choke him. I mean, if the creepy-guy bothered him as much as he bothers me, I can't see him doing anything like that.

I unlocked the cage to get a better look at the kid, trying to avoid looking at creepy-guy. I felt like he was staring at me the whole time and grinning, though he wasn't. I could at least see that much. The kid had burn marks on his throat, and I know he didn't before. Even if we had shocked or burned him in our efforts to make him cast off the memories of his current life, I would have healed him of wounds this severe.

I looked over at the creepy-guy and that's when Inquisitor decided to show up. :<

"What are you doing?" he barked at me, like I'd done something wrong. "Don't touch him." I wasn't really sure if he was talking about the kid or creepy-guy.

"He's... dead." It was kind of a lame statement. I mean, obviously the kid was dead. Any idiot could see that.

Inquisitor looked down at the kid with a shrug. I know whoever the kid was, he'll just be reborn into a new body somewhere down the line, but it's still pretty rude not to even care.

I looked over at creepy-guy again and Inquisitor grabbed me by the chin, digging his fingers in painfully. "Stay away from him," he hissed into my face before shoving me away.

I felt like saying... Dude, no problem, but it's impossible to really have a conversation with Inquisitor, even if you agree with him. The only thing he finds acceptable is silence and quick action. I backed away and edged around him to get out into the hall.

Then I heard the laugh.

It was a deep, gurgling chuckle. I immediately knew it wasn't Inquisitor, and not only because he doesn't laugh, ever.

"What's the matter brother?" said a voice that sounded like he was talking through blood. I looked back, but creepy-guy hadn't so much as twitched. "Is she precious to you?"

"You are no brother of mine," Inquisitor said in disgust as he reached down and grabbed the boy by the arm, dragging the body from the cell. He looked up and saw me still in the hall, and I saw his eyes narrow. uh oh "If you have nowhere to be, I will give you work," he snarled at me, dragging the body another foot before tossing down the arm he held. "Dispose of this and make sure no other prisoners are put in cells adjacent to the Darkling-spawn's."

So I guess there's more about the Darklings than what I'd heard, because I thought they were shapeshifters, not that they went around killing people through wire mesh.

Why masks

I know lots of us have different reasons for wearing a mask. Some I've talked to wear a mask simply because they've been told they're supposed to, and someone once told me that we should wear masks so that we know each other when we meet. That's just stupid since ANYONE can pick up a mask and pretend to be one of us, and only a few of us would be able to tell the difference if it came to that. I mean, even the Assassin apparently wears a mask. So there's no sense in thinking a mask will let you know who to trust.

A lot of Anunnaki I've talked to wear masks as a sign of respect for Father because of what was done to him. You know... his face. So they wear masks to hide their own faces out of sympathy for Him. I don't know if Father really cares, but it's a nice thing to do anyway.

And then there's a few of us who know the truth about what was stolen from us, and we wear masks that show the form we would take if we could. There have been very few shapeshifters since medieval times. A lot of them got burned up with the witches the Inquisition managed to pin down. But I've heard rumors that there are a few werewolves and others who've managed to regain that power, and they don't wear masks because their human form IS their mask.

So jealous. :3

The Darklings can also shapeshift... but I've never met any, and what I do know about them gives me the creeps.